Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
honey bunches of taint.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
