i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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