you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
