The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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