Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
