i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
