Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
