Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
