Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
