I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
