Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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