You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
