Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
