We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
