sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
