There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize