I've blown a few things in my day
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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