you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
