i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize