Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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