So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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