You're so nebulous sometimes
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
