i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
