Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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