Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
