Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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