what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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