doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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