I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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