shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize