Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
