Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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