Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
