it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
