Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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