there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
