By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I cockslap morals
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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