He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize