i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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