I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
