Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
