What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
