I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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