I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
