ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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