I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
