I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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