Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
