every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
