On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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