we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
