so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize