Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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