Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
