There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
