I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
