he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
