I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
