we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
