she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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