The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
