That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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