Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
