she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
