Plan B is the new Plan A
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
