Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
