She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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