i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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