question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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