I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
