What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
