Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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