so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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