I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
