My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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