His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize