I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
