i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
