Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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